February 28, 2026
EXCLUSIVE!
Below is an amazing poem written by Gabby Carriere, age 18. It is probably the best poem ever.
The Shepherd and His Sheep
(Luke 15:4-7; Matthew 18:12-14)
High on a hill near the mountain’s peak,
Grazed a humble Shepherd’s flock of sheep.
The Shepherd guarded them from all harm,
Being sure they were safe and that they were warm.
Blissfully, happy, his hundred sheep roamed,
Though never traveling too far from home.
But a curious sheep strayed from the herd,
Taking a path that twisted and curved.
Reaching the valley, he let out a yelp,
“Where is my Shepherd? Where is my help?”
Never too far, the Shepherd drew near,
He instructed the sheep to have no fear.
“I left the ninety-nine to find the one,
Now let’s return, the search is done!”
Finally nearing the plateau where they lay,
The Shepherd called out in great victory:
“Come, rejoice! Our companion is home;
Once lost but now found, no longer alone!”
So the sheep told his journey from start to the end,
How the Shepherd saved him and called him a friend.
The ninety-nine listened with intentful ears,
To the one’s stories eyes filled with tears.
The Shepherd had saved them, named them His own,
No longer afraid and never alone.
Editor’s Review: 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷
This is a very pretty poem! Merrilee hopes everyone in Shabbat group likes it as much as she does. A1
AD
by Gabby Carriere
Do you have an accent that you’d like to use but aren’t sure if it’s up to par? Look no further! At “ItsNotThatHard-TheAccenteers.com” our professional accenteer(s) will assess your “accents” and report back with valuable feedback! Our motto, “If you’ve got one, we wanna hear it!” Get your free consultation with Gabby Carriere today! (Ms. Carriere claims she is not responsible for the following: slurred speech or temporary impediment, mental breakdown, tourettes, discombobulation, and/or emotional damage. If you are experiencing and of these symptoms or unusual occurrences after the practice and application of your accent, you are advised to stop and pray.)
AD
AN AD FOR ADS!
Add an ad to the SGT newspaper for a cookie apiece! You will definitely come to see how DELICIOUS ads can be! (I didn’t mean to rhyme that. Please don’t hit me with a bat) Thank you for sending in your ads (no, not you, all you dads)!
yet another AD
Draw and write your own comics and send them to shabbatgrouptimes@gmail.com! Comics are worth lots of cookies (usually). Please try to make your handwriting easy to read. We will be sure to include the title and the name of the person who wrote it!
ANOTHER AD?!?!?
Get a nose/ear-piercing today for only 20 sunflower seeds! All piercings performed by Jelly Bean. Warning: Jelly Bean’s piercings may not be entirely sanitary and/or painless.
BREAKING NEWS
article by Asa Warren
A dinosaur killed the dinosaurs in a tree, and California did that. Um, then John got caught on fire. Um, John got throwed by a poppin hole. Then someone pinched the tree and it fell down on them. Then, um, Jelly Bean bit John, bit David, and bit Sunny, and then sugar fell on John’s head. Then Li-li and Little Guy killing a goat. Um, and then a tree killed a tree. Then a branch fell down on a person and it had a happy ending. And that’s all. Then John got in the pool and John was jumping on a jumping board and fell on a tree. And then Sunny got caught on a tree and fell on a pool. And then a tree got killed by nobody. Um, pepper on John. And that’s all.
SHABBAT GROUP BIRTHDAY SECTION (send in your birthday!)
Gabby Carriere: Turned 18 on January 29, 2026
Asa Warren: Turned 4 on February 3, 2026
Taliyah Speck: Turned 17 on February 6, 2026
Matthew Garrett: Turned ??? on February 12, 2026
BREAKING NEWS
ELIJAH SANSING RUNS HIS FIRST HALF MARATHON
Article by Elijah Sansing
Elijah spent months training for this half marathon. His training consisted of about 4 or 5 runs per week. The distances he ran in his training were 2,4,7 and even 10 mile runs 
.
He wanted to do a half marathon (13.1 miles) and he found one on Mobile, AL, so they took a road trip to Mobile and the start of the race was at 7:30 am so……..they had to get a hotel 
(and they did find one), so they took a road trip down to Mobile and they got to their hotel and road in the van through the course just to go over it. It took about 30 minutes. Then they went to bed and tried to get a good night’s sleep for the race. (Race day began at 6:30 am.) Elijah Sansing woke up and he immediately started drinking a protein shake. Then he went down to the gym to do some stretches. When he was done with that, he went to the parking lot and did a 1/2 a mile jog to warm up and just to wake up his legs. Then they got in the car and drove to the race. And he did some stretches before the start. Then before he knew it, the race gun started and the goal for this race was to run a 2 hour and 20 minute half marathon. He had done a 1/2 marathon in training and did it in 2 hours and 28 minutes. To shave off 8 minutes from his time is a LOT OF WORK. That’s about doing it 30 seconds faster, every mile, and that’s very difficult. He started off the race really slow, but he got faster A3
every mile, and he finished with a really fast time of 2 hours and 8 minutes. 
His family came to see him at mile marker 5, and then they walked back to the start line, to see him cross it.
He is trying to run a sub-2 hour half marathon before the end of the year.
Other details: Elijah used a watch to track the distance and this time. Also, on the course there were water stations every 2.5 miles.
Below and overleaf: Elijah at his marathon
Editor’s note: This is actually very fast. It would have taken Elijah an average of about 9 minutes and 46 seconds per mile. I looked it up and the average person usually runs about 9 minutes 53 seconds per mile. The race was on Sunday, January 11, 2026.
ASA QUOTE OF THE WEEK
“You’re one hundred dollars.”
—Asa, to Merrilee, as he ‘scanned’ her with the stud finder.
Note: No studs detected. Re-scan may be required.
BIBLE VERSE OF THE WEEK
“Rejoice with me, for I have found my sheep which was lost.”
—Luke 15:6
We were inspired by the poem by Gabby Carriere (see page A1), so we chose this Verse of the Week because it is one of the ones her poem is based on.
PEPPERMINT HOT CHOCOLATE COOKIES
Try this delicious recipe for peppermint hot chocolate cookies created by Merrilee Warren!
Yield: 15-25 cookies (depending on how big you make them)
You will need:
- 185 grams all-purpose flour
- 45 grams cocoa powder
- ½ teaspoon salt
- ½ teaspoon baking soda
- ¼ teaspoon baking powder
- ¾ cup granulated sugar
- ½ cup brown sugar (packed)
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 1 large egg
- ½ cup (1 stick) salted butter (softened)
- 6-8 drops peppermint extract
- 1 cup chocolate chips
- ½ cup marshmallows (optional)
- Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, cocoa powder, salt, baking powder, and baking soda until combined. Set aside.
- Using a hand mixer, mix the sugars and butter in a large bowl until combined.
- Beat in the egg, vanilla, and peppermint extract until light (about one minute).
- Gradually beat in the flour mixture. When completely combined, fold in the chocolate chips and marshmallows (if you are using them) with a spoon.
- Roll the cookies into balls. You can make them as big or small as you want, but I usually do tablespoon-sized balls.
- Put the cookie dough balls onto a large pan. (Do not eat!)
- Bake the cookies for 10-12 minutes. You will know they are ready when a toothpick inserted into the largest one comes out clean (do not stick toothpick into chocolate chip).
- Let the cookies cool for five minutes, then enjoy!
A5
BREAKING NEWS
ELIJAH SANSING NOT ‘TALL MAN’
Elijah Sansing, age 14, wishes everyone to know that he does not like being called ‘Tall Man’. That is not his name. Ember Speck, age 10, also does not like it when people call her ‘EmBomb’. It is not her name either. It is not nice to call someone something they don’t want to be called. How would YOU like it if someone called you ‘Muffinella Sprinklesworth’? Or ‘Professor Puddingflop’? What if someone called you ‘CINNAMON BEAUREGARD TOASTLY’? You would NOT like that, WOULD you? Elijah does not like it either when people call him ‘Tall Man’. So please stop calling him that, or Merrilee will begin calling all the ‘Tall Man’-ers (and EmBomb-ers) the names above! No more ‘Tall Man’! Seriously! ‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you’! STOP CALLING PEOPLE NAMES!
DAD JOKES OF THE WEEK 😖
Provided by Dad (George) Carriere
Q: What do you call a blind chicken?
A: A hicken… because they can’t ‘C’.
and Dad (Brian) Speck
A dog walks into a saloon and says to the bartender, “I’m lookin’ for the man who shot my paw.”
Send in your own dad joke (dads only)!
EXCLUSIVE!
STORY BY JOHN WARREN
Last week we shared a preview of a story by John Warren. Below is the full story (edited by Merrilee, because Ember’s name is not ‘EmBomb’).
SHABBAT GROUP
“FREE JACK!” I say as I kick the ball into the pool. “Hey!” yells Elliott. “That’s cheating!” Sam, Logan, David, and Ember race to the pool to get the ball. Logan pretends to jump in the pool to get the ball and David tries to push Logan in. Finally Elliott gets the net and fishes the ball out. But instead of playing Jackpot, Sam discovers our reusable water balloons. He starts a huge water balloon fight. The way the fight works is everybody gets one balloon, and we play “not it” to decide who’s it. Then the person who is it gets ten seconds to run, and once the time is over the people who aren’t it try to find the person who is it and try to make them freeze. By freezing you have to drop your water balloon, put your hands in the air, and shake your butt
(Editor’s Note: BEHIND)
Once we were done playing the water balloon fight, we went inside and played air hockey. The first time Sam and Logan played. Logan won and played Ember. Then Logan played me. At first I was winning two to zero, but somehow, Logan ended up winning ten to eight. Then someone called down, “Lunch is ready!” Then, a stampede of kids raced up the stairs and personally all I can say about lunch is that the cookies were by far the best. After lunch, we all went downstairs and played P-I-G* on the putting green. After six missed shots up the ramp and a ‘P’ for me, we had to go up for Bible study. I tried to follow along, but when I got to the right reference we moved on. I had a good day.
*Editor’s Note: P-I-G is a bit like H-O-R-S-E, except you only have three tries and it is for putt-putt golf. You have to hit it into the right hole.
???
Merrilee Warren, age 12, could not find anything to write about in the newspaper, so she looked up things that newspapers have for ideas. Apparently they do book and movie reviews, so we think that this section is about book and movie reviews.
- The Big Book Of Wrapperchutation
Review: This book is notoriously unhelpful. Experts suspect this may be because it does not exist.
- Traveler
Review: Merrilee is writing this book; therefore it is terrible.
- The Dictionary
Review: The Warren children are not fans of this book because their mother uses big words around them on purpose, asks them the definition, and when they can’t answer, tells them to go look it up in the dictionary.
- Superdude and the Amazing Heroes
Review: The superheroes should really have better powers. B1
LOCAL HEROES SECTION
Merrilee has also been informed that newspapers have ‘local heroes sections’, so she has decided to do that. (You can nominate a local hero at shabbatgrouptimes@gmail.com)
- Asa Gallant Warren at this age Three
Known Heroism: Can anyone really argue that he clearly belongs in this section?
- Ember Speck
Known Heroism: Is friends with the boys even though they are known to be mean to her and is 97% more awesome than the average person (see issue #3).
- Gabby Carriere
Known Heroism: Wrote a bunch of awesome articles for SGT (plus the AWESOME POEM (see page A1))
- George Carriere, Brian Speck, and John-David Warren
Known Heroism: Come up with dad jokes that are both terrible and funny.
- Eliyah Grace Warren
Known Heroism: So… so cute…
- Jelly Bean Warren
Known Heroism: Being incredibly chompy.
…on second thought, maybe we ought to put her in the ‘local villains’ section.
- Elliott Garrett
Known Heroism: Writing a lot of Issue 5 of SGT. (Warning: May say six-seven)
- Abigail Tefft
Known Heroism: Can totally BEAT all the boys in pretty much every game ever invented.
- Kojika Satellite Jophis Warren
Known Heroism: Is a baby deer.
- The Morris Family
Known Heroism: Letting everyone come have Shabbat Group at their house.
- Elijah Sansing
Known Heroism: Ran very fast
Congratulations to this issue’s local heroes! Do something heroic to get mentioned in the next issue!
SGT WORD OF THE WEEK
Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis: a word your mother tells you to look up when you ask her what actually happens when you breathe in the campfire smoke (look it up).
Note: Experts suspect that this word was invented exclusively so that moms can win arguments.
INTERVIEW—WITH YOU!
Below are some interview questions! You can fill in the blanks and/or send your interview to shabbatgrouptimes@gmail.com to have it published in the next issue!
Q: What is your favorite color?
A:
Q: What is your favorite animal?
A:
Q: What is your favorite food?
A:
Q: What is your favorite dessert?
A:
Q: What is the name of your favorite pet?
A:
Q: What is your favorite activity?
A:
Q: Using three words, describe what you think of SGT.
A:
Great job! You can also request an interview in person with an SGT reporter (or interview someone yourself!). It is funniest when you write exactly what people say.
ANIMAL BIBLE TRIVIA
Try this fun Bible trivia—all about animals! The answers are below the questions.
1: Which prophet had a talking donkey?
2: What were the four winged creatures in Revelation?
3: How many wings did each of these creatures have? (Hint: they all had the same number of wings)
4: Which two of the following birds are unclean: Quail, Swan, Goose, and Heron?
and
5: What book in the Old Testemant has detailed descriptions of both the Leviathan and the Behemoth?
6: What is the only book in the Bible that mentions ants?
7: How many people were mauled by the two bears that Elisha sent for mocking him for being bald?
8: In what book of the Bible did this event occur?
9: What book in the New Testament described locusts with the power of scorpions?
10: What three species of animals spoke in the Bible?
Great job! Now check your answers!
ANSWERS
TO ANIMAL BIBLE TRIVIA
BREAKING NEWS…?
Merrilee Warren, editor of the Shabbat Group Times newspaper, has been informed that apparently newspapers do stock market updates. Now, Merrilee knows absolutely nothing about stock markets, so she will do sock market updates. The update of socks is below.
Futures are up 30% in the sock market. The outlook is positive. Pro-jections are down as several socks were lost in the laundry last week. Hanes socks are at an all-time high, while Fruit of the Loom are a bit bearish. A newcomer into the market, Member’s Mark, is taking the sock market by storm. Ankle socks are down, but knee-high socks are up.
Note: For more information, download the “Robin Hood: Men In Tights” sock trading app. Available wherever you download sock trading apps.
Note: Asa Warren, age 4, is probably opening a sock market. It will sell large socks, small socks, clean socks, dirty socks, nice socks, rip-off socks, and his specialty, stinky socks. Please come buy his socks. They will not have Asa Residue™ (probably).
EXCLUSIVE!
SUPERDUDE AND THE AMAZING HEROES SEQUEL
Merrilee Warren, age 12, is writing a sequel to her short comedy story Superdude and the Amazing Heroes. It is called Superdude’s Revenge. In it, the six superheroes return to once and for all stop the twenty-six tickle ants that previously defeated them. They team up with a group of exiled ants called the Punctuantions. If you have not read Superdude and the Amazing Heroes (see Issue 2, where it was featured), ask Merrilee for a copy. Below is a preview of Superdude’s Revenge.
“We have come with a proposal,” the ant in the lead said. “We will help you defeat the other ants. In return, you will help us become the leaders of the ants. Oh, and you must agree, or you will be severely punished.”
Superdude yawned. “Hi.”
The ant stared. “Did you hear a word I just said?”
“Meh,” Wings said. “Twenty-two-seventy-five.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” another ant demanded. “That’s not even correct math! It is fifty-three-eighty-seven, for your information.”
“Wait, who are you guys?” Toothpick said. “Aren’t ants supposed to be our enemies? Or maybe you’re our retired enemies, since we’re not superheroes anymore. Did you retire?”
“NO !” snapped the first ant. “I am !!!.”
“Well, Exclamation point exclamation point exclamation point, I—” Mindreader began.
The ant interrupted her. “NO! That is not how you pronounce it! It is !!!.”
“Exclamation point exclamation point exclamation point,” Mindreader affirmed.
!!! huffed. “Regardless of the pronounciation, the other ants kicked us out because they couldn’t pronounce our names. We all are named after punctuations.”
“If this whole thing is about pronounciations, what was the ‘regardless’ all about?” Cheeseman asked. “I think maybe it should be ‘regarding’. Or ‘Bob’. I’m not so good with grammar.”
Superdude interrupted him. “I am Superdude. This is Cheeseman, Mindreader, Wings, Toothpick, and the Communicator. What are your names?”
One ant stepped forward. “I am @@@.”
Another waved its hand. “I am {{{, and this is my twin brother }}}.”
“Uh…” Superdude said. “So is that ‘left curly bracket left curly bracket left curly bracket’ and ‘right curly bracket right curly bracket right curly bracket’?”
{{{ (or was it }}}?) sighed. “Alas, if it were only that simple. It is ‘{{{‘ and ‘}}}’.
The Communicator waved his hands wildly. “Never mind! We do not need introductions! Jhwehdjejdoodoodooflptigaborsnop!”
“What does that mean?” @@@ whispered to Mindreader.
“No one knows,” she replied mysteriously. “Not even the Communicator.”
BREAKING NEWS
JELLY BEAN OFFICIALLY CO-EDITOR OF SGT
Jelly Bean Warren, age 3-maybe-4, would like the public to know that she is the official co-editor of the Shabbat Group Times newspaper. She helps by attempting to eat Merrilee’s necklace, chomping Merrilee’s ear whenever Merrilee tries to move, being a pretty bird, and pooping on the laptop. There is probably no better co-editor in the world than her. After all, who can compete with her adorable chompiness? No one. She is the chompiest co-editor in the world. In fact she may be the only co-editor to bite her editor’s ears. She is very (bad) good.
BREAKING NEWS
MERRILEE ARRESTED FOR “ILLEGAL GAMBLING”
Merrilee Warren, age 12, was recently arrested by her twin brothers, John and David Warren, for the act of “illegal gambling”. Merrilee claims her gambling was definitely NOT illegal because she was gambling with balls, and she also was not playing poker. She and her siblings played kitsune ken (also known as “fox fist”), a Japanese variant of rock-paper-scissors. The winner got the loser’s ball AND kept their own ball. Merrilee had won almost every ball that the Warren family owns (including acorns, marbles, and dead light-bulbs) when John, one of the police (who had probably gambled the MOST of all of Merrilee’s siblings), shut Merrilee down for “illegal gambling”. Merrilee was quite annoyed and immediately protested, stating the fact that John himself would go to jail for gambling if it was actually illegal, but he refused to listen. Hence the current situation. Do you, reader, think that Merrilee should have kept her ball business, or that John was right to shut her down? Merrilee thinks clearly she should have gotten to keep her business because it wasn’t illegal. Of course, it is up to you to decide. (Merrilee is right, decide that.)
BREAKING NEWS
JOHN AND DAVID INVENT NEW OLYMPIC SPORT
John and David Warren, ages 10, recently invented a new Olympic sport. David claims that it is called “Shoot and Retrieve It”. It is played like this: one person rides around in circles on this odd contraption called a “Crazy Cart” while the other person launches tennis balls at them using a tennis ball launcher. The person in the Crazy Cart attempts to catch the flying tennis balls. We believe that each tennis ball you catch earns you one point, although we have no evidence of this. If you would like to sign up to learn this sport, contact John and David through shabbatgrouptimes@gmail.com. They will be happy to teach you (probably).
INTERVIEW WITH JOHN AND DAVID
“WHAT IS IT LIKE BEING A TWIN?”
article by Sunny Warren
Sunny Warren, age 8, recently interveiwed her brothers John and David, asking them what it is like to have a twin. First is the interview with John, and then the interview with David. We have been informed that David copied almost all of John’s answers, so be prepared for that.
INTERVIEW WITH JOHN
Q: What is it like being a twin?
A: Horrible.
Q: Would you like it if you were an only child?
A: Sure.
Q: Who would you play with?
A: Sam, Logan, and Elliott.
Q: Do you think it was a good experience?
A: NO.
Q: Do you like David in any other ways than fighting him?
A: No.
Q: Would you rather share a room with David or one of your sisters?
A: None of ’em.
Q: Do you want me to do another question?
A: No.
INTERVIEW WITH DAVID
Q: What is it like being a twin?
A: Horrible.
Q: Would you like it if you were an only child?
A: Yes, because there wouldn’t be so many people interviewing me all the time.
Q: Who would you play with?
A: Sam, Logan, and Elliott.
Q: Do you think it was a good experience?
A: No.
Q: Do you like John in any ways other than fighting with him?
A: No.
Q: Would you rather share a room with John or one of your sisters?
A: None of ’em.
Q: Do you want another question?
A: No, unless it is “Do you want this interview to be over?”.
Editor’s Note: Merrilee would like to point out that John and David also play with Ember; they just don’t admit it because it is apparently shameful to be friends with a girl.
SPORTS SECTION
Merrilee was told that newspapers also do sports sections. The only sports she really knows about are the ones she plays at Shabbat Group, so she is going to “report” about those.
VOLLEYBALL-DODGEBALL-TENNIS BALL-GAME
This sport was invented by several extremely creative kids at Shabbat group. Basically you divide into teams, and each team stands on one side of a volleyball net. There are tennis balls lined up right under the net. Someone says “go”, and then everyone dashes forward to grab as many balls as they can, then every-one runs back to their side. The two teams then proceed to fling tennis balls at the people on the other side. If you get hit with a tennis ball, you are out. The first team in which all members are hit with tennis balls loses. Also, if you catch a ball that someone from the other team threw, the person who caught the ball either chooses for the thrower to be out, or to get one of their own team-mates who is already out to come back into the game. The boys who play this game are quite insulting to the girls who play (even though Abigail won all by herself once).
KEEP-AWAY (FOOTBALL)
This was an interesting game. When Merrilee played, she tripped over her own feet, could not catch the ball, and got tackled a whole bunch. This is all definitely true. It is not at all made up. Just ask anybody who played keep-away. Also the ball landed in the pond multiple times, and a few people had to go get it out. The water was reportedly quite cold. And wet. You may not believe it, but it is true. Our advice it to not go wading in a freezing cold pond in the middle of winter.
WARRENIAN ANIMALS
As we all know, Asa Gallant Warren at this age four is the king of the sovereign nation of Warrenia. In honor of this, here are some well-known Warrenian animals.
Boys: Odd creatures that are obsessed with causing mayhem. Science does not yet know why.
Grinlore: A frog with a tiny elephant trunk and dragon wings that is nocturnal.
Fantlethunk: Basically a weird cow. The national animal of Warrenia.
Klamptopotamoose: A hermaphrodite, cannibalistic snake-kangaroo-rabbit that is very fast and has no natural predators.
Reavers: Cockatoo-eagle-rooster-tur-keys that lay any color of eggs.
Aiskin: A dangerous predator that is half boar, half eagle, and has a diamond sharp blade at the end of its tail. Pronounced ASH-kin.
Flappywings: Buffalo with wings. They come in two classes: Wild and Wingsy.
Flying Ear: Exactly what it sounds like.
Beanjelly: A cute rainbow friend that sits on your shoulder, then bites you on the ear when you least expect it and squawks so loud you temporarily go deaf.
The Face Army: Ask Elliott.
Tickle Dragons: These are the primary form of torture in Warrenian tickle dungeons. They are so cute you will want to pet them. Don’t! They will tickle you to DEATH.
Blobs-in-Sheeps’-Clothing: A small, friendly, cheerful blob of green slime with wool and sheep ears on its head and a cute face. Blobs-in-Sheep’s-Clothing are harmless and make good pets.
Bloated Goats: Goats that eat everything but the things you want them to. Escape artists. Cute but BAD. The big ones moo.
CHAVERUT
poem by Gabby Carriere
Come, join, in worship and study
Hearts unitited under the Almighty
Abide in him and in his word
Veracious speech with one another
Enjoyment of company in midst of a zephyr
Rejoicing as one held in Shalom
Uplifting bonds held by the grove
Truth, friends and fellowship wove
Poet’s note: “This is an acrostic poem using the word Chaverut as a basis. Chaverut is a Hebrew word that can mean either friendship or fellowship.
I am very blessed by our Chaverut!”
INTERVIEW WITH MERRILEE
Read this interview with Merrilee by Gabby Carriere!
Interviewer: If aliens landed in front of you and offered you any position on their planet in exchange for anything you desire, what would you want?
Merrilee: Uh, some cucumbers?
Interviewer: If you were a bicycle, what part would you be?
Merrilee: Uh, the handlebars I guess
Interviewer: What’s your favorite color?
Merrilee: Green
Interviewer: If you were a t-shirt, what color would you be and why?
Merrilee: Green, because it’s the best color
Interviewer: Why do you love cucumbers so much?
Merrilee: They’re tasty
Sunny: Is she interviewing you?
Merrilee: Yes, but only a little about cucumbers
Interviewer: Are pickles of equal value in greatness to normal cucumbers?
Merrilee: Nope, definitely not… because they’re imposters
Interviewer: What is the funniest thing that happened to you recently?
Sunny: Is she interviewing you for the newspaper?
Merrilee: Shhhh! Asa
Interviewer: Would you rather fight 100 duck-sized horses or one horse-sized duck?
Merrilee: A horse sized duck. Because it wouldn’t have hooves… Also ducks don’t eat
cucumbers
Interviewer: If you could have any superhero power, what would it be and why?
Merrilee: Shape shifting, because then I’d have a bunch of other super powers
Interviewer: If you could choose one song to play every time you walked into a room, what
would you choose and why?
Merrilee: The forest fort anthem, because it’s funny
Interviewer’s Note: (I felt this was a very insightful interview to truly get to know our head SGT editor herself! I think she’s very fun and creative! Just a note, if you have any cucumbers on hand, be sure to share. NOT PICKLES! I repeat, NOT PICKLES! If you were to present her with pickles she may very well send Jelly Bean to chomp you or Asa to Wrapperchute you… Be warned…)
Merrilee’s Note: Merrilee would like everyone to know that she definitely did not change the answers. You can ask Gabby. It is true. She would also like to thank Gabby for interviewing her, especially about cucumbers. As we all know, cucumbers are delicious. This is not debatable. Do not argue. (Or… deal with Jelly Bean! You asked for it!)
Sunny’s Note: Sunny will find her tall tale about babies flying to Antartica.(Eventually.) Do not worry.
INTERVIEW WITH A TREE
Merrilee will now interview a tree. This is not weird. Do not panic. No one is going nuts. (It was Elliott’s idea)
Q: What is your favorite color?
A: *wobbles branches*
Translation: Green
Q: What is your favorite school subject?
A: *wobbles branches*
Translation: Geometree
Q: What is your favorite drink?
A: *wobbles branches*
Translation: Rootbeer
Q: What is your least favorite month?
A: *wobbles branches*
Translation: Sep-TIMBER!
Q: What is your favorite candy?
A: *wobbles branches*
Translation: …either “twix”or “twigs”
Q: What is your favorite breakfast?
A: *wobbles branches*
Translation: Poplar-tarts
Q: What is your favorite kind of music?
A: *wobbles branches*
Translation: Heavy maple
Q: What is your favorite cereal?
A: *wobbles branches*
Translation: Oakmeal
Q: What is your favorite store?
A: *wobbles branches*
Translation: Dollar Tree
Q: What do you wear when you go swimming?
A: *sits there doing nothing*
Translation: my swimming trunks